The Look

After such a dearth of posting, I've decided to endeavor to post more frequently, developing this habit first to "stay in touch" with others, school friends namely--this medium being much more of a necessity after I graduate, or so I anticipate--and second, to discipline myself in the art of writing regularly. It's not always fun or easy, and I don't always feel inspired, but those are insufficient reasons to prevent me from doing it.

So... a bit of musing from earlier tonight that will hopefully encourage you (excerpts):

...God does not love me because I am worthy of love. He does not bless me because I deserve blessings. He loves me because He has chosen to do so.

...What am I using as a standard for “should’s”? Obedience pulses throughout the pages of Scripture; it’s a healthy thing. But we are not performing to earn favor. We are not to do it in our own strength. I must not seek to do what is right just to circumvent feeling guilty. How lame is that! What would the right attitude be, in seeking to do the right actions?
–Asking for the Lord’s enablement, sustenance, and strength to do what He has asked me to do.
–Intentional dependence on Him; a relinquishment of self-sufficiency.
–An awareness of doing all for His glory, no matter what the task is.
–A willingness to let go… of anything I may grasp too vehemently, any time I start to trust in myself or look to my own resources for help.

I need more than Eleanor Roosevelt telling me, “You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” I need more than willpower. I need the power of the Holy Spirit. I face no small foe. So often I am easy prey for his schemes, for I deprive myself of the defense possible, in staying close to my Savior’s side. In fixing my gaze ever toward His cross. In choosing to reject lies and believe completely in truth. In seeking help from the only source that can truly save me, has already saved me.

I can’t just sit back and relax while You do my work for me. I still have to work; you empower me to do so. I won’t pretend to understand that perfectly. How about “barely”? Here goes.

God, I want to do this right… and not just so I don’t have a guilty conscience. You have already cleansed me from slavery to the law of sin and death, so I am not guilty. Forgive me for dwelling on my feelings and not Your truth, the truth You have so clearly given to me in Your Word. Please forgive me for thinking my works earn me favor with You; I know that nothing I do could attain Your favor or assuage your mighty justice. Only the sacrifice of Jesus Christ can do that. Thank You for sending Him to Earth—to live, to die—in order to save me. Thank you, Yeshua, for being obedient to Your Father, giving me an example to follow, and the opportunity to practice following because of the new life you have given me through Your death. You were blameless, perfect, holy. And You came down into filthy squalor, becoming a Man. You became like one of Your creations, that you might rescue all people from the rebellion they have chosen. What love...

My response is to surrender everything to You. Only You can make it worthwhile. I’m not giving you my all because it’s worth anything on its own. I’m not giving it to You to somehow try to repay You, for that is impossible. I’m not committing to follow You (once again) because I think that this time, I’ll do it perfectly. I’m doing this because I have nothing to bring. Only your holiness saves me. That is truly “my only hope.” So I surrender myself to You because that is all I can do. I recognize my need for help, my inability to do things right on my own. I am not a good savior, or boss, or leader. My example is often not worthy of being emulated. You are the source of everything worthwhile in me.

May my life be a testimony to You. To Your greatness, Your mercy, Your patience, Your power, Your compassion, Your joy. Fill me with joy! I bless Your name, though I am weak. I praise You for preserving my life, though I complain and dislike my circumstances at times. I trust You, though I struggle with fear of the future. I place my future into Your hands, where it should be anyway. I acknowledge I cannot control myself, others, or bring my plans to fruition. Everything happens according to Your plan, somehow. It all works together for good. I believe Your Word. I love Your Word, teach it to me! Cause me to crave it. Help me be obedient, Lord.

Something I appreciate about lyrics set to music is the factor of time newly indwelling the words. How easy it is to read a stanza without pause, minimizing the potential import of powerful words. But when a phrase is sung, or a syllable emphasized, an interlude observed... how impactful those same words can be. It's part of the inexplicable power of Music, an almost-magical component I think God built into us to respond to music in a unique way. All that to say, the following is one of my favorite songs, a poignant visualization of a massively significant day... and a perspective we'd do well to consider.

The Look

I saw one hanging on a tree
In agony and blood
Who fixed his loving eyes on me
As near his cross I stood
And never till my dying breath
Will I forget that look
It seemed to charge me with his death
Though not a word he spoke

My conscience felt and owned the guilt
And plunged me in despair
I saw my sins his blood had spilt
And helped to nail him there
But with a second look he said
“I freely all forgive
This blood is for your ransom paid
I died that you might live”

Forever etched upon my mind
Is the look of Him who died
The Lamb I crucified
And now my life will sing the praise
Of pure atoning grace
That looked on me and
Gladly took my place

Thus while his death my sin displays
For all the world to view
Such is the mystery of grace
It seals my pardon too
With pleasing grief and mournful joy
My spirit now is filled
That I should such a life destroy
Yet live by Him I killed

“The Look”, original lyrics by John Newton, new and alternate lyrics by Bob Kauflin, music by Bob Kauflin.
© 2001 Sovereign Grace Praise (BMI). Sovereign Grace Music, a division of Sovereign Grace Ministries.
From Upward: The Bob Kauflin Hymns Project.
All rights reserved. International copyright secured. North American administration by Integrity Music.
International administration by CopyCare International. Used by permission.

Isn't He good?
M