college life, in all its "glory"

As the days of college wind down--my last semester!-- I feel more and more like a freshman. I shirk responsibility, defy policy parameters (mostly in my head), seem to be going backward in accountability.

Humility is submitting to rules when you don't think you need them; maturity is willingly obeying what is asked of you, even if it seems restrictive.

I recently found myself irked at the chapel/church miss policy, which seems unnecessarily complicated. ("Sunday School" does not count as one of the two required weekly services, unless your church doesn't have an evening service, in which case it does count as a church service. College group, midweek Bible study, or Awana do not count either, if your church has a night service. You miss night service (or morning service, for that matter) and go to 5 other meetings at the church during the week, doesn't matter. Still a miss. But they give you 8 for the semester, which should be plenty. But still...)

How sad that such rules are necessary at all! You have to make people go to church? These are things people should seriously be doing on their own, because they're right... right? I guess it's hard when you've been trained to be responsible, then your authority assumes you'll be irresponsible. (It's a wound to the ego, a pride issue, I guess.) That is not the case, however; it is true that many people my age do not follow good guidelines, and need the strictures for their own good, and the people in authority are perhaps leery of students because of a track record of lazy disobedience. I'm amazed (though I shouldn't be) at what some of my peers will say and do. My own heart is plenty wicked and deceitful. And I am here voluntarily, thus it was a choice in the beginning and it's a choice to obey now, too.

All that said, I had a smashing time tonight, avoiding homework and bowling with friends! I "never" go do fun stuff during the week, so I did tonight. Especially since it was $1 night-- game and shoes for only a buck apiece. Great fun!! Incidentally, I have discovered something at which I am TERRIBLE!!!!!!!!! But it was still fun. Joe and Holly were amazingly good. Turtle held his own, and Shane was freaked out by the extra-smooth lane, so he kept me company at the tail end of the party. I did get two or three strikes, though!

I need to take more pictures! I have gotten out of the habit, since being back. I have none from T&L... and just a few from the first few weeks of school. Many fun times, but no pictures. That's ok. I'll rectify that henceforth. Starting now: here's a picture of us from tonight!

Every day that passes, I grow increasingly aware of the huge privilege it was to go to Israel. I am SO thankful for the people He has allowed me to get to know.

The more I read of gifted writers (Milton, Piper, Gunner...) the more inadequate and feeble my expressive power seems to become.

And I waste time on things that absolutely DO. NOT. MATTER. in eternity. Why? I thought I wanted to live sold-out for Christ? Why am I so flaky?

But He has blessed me. He chose me. He adopted me. He has accepted, redeemed, and forgiven me. Huge blessings, enumerated in Eph. 1, among other places. I can't get over His grace.

And... His provision. In spite of my willful sin. He provided all the money I needed, within the time deadline placed upon me, for a Spring Break trip to Mobile, AL, to help with rebuilding homes in an area devastated by Katrina. Did I pray enough about it? I don't think so. Yet He chose to provide. He would still be good, even if He didn't choose to provide. But He did. I don't understand it. But I can appreciate it.

Posting is dangerous when you're in a bit of a pensive mood.
So I end soon, because I need to get to bed.

Am I obedient? Am I willing to give up everything, not just the things I don't want, but the most dear and precious things to which I cling-- those things, for Christ?

None of us have any guarantee for tomorrow. I was reminded of that last night in Milton: one's life is a thread overshadowed by a scissors-wielding Fate, ready to snip the thread at any moment-- a totally pagan image, but compelling nonetheless. I could die tomorrow! Or Jesus could come back! I just don't know. No one knows how many days God has planned for them. So why do I worry about what I'm gonna do in the future, if I don't even know if there will be a future? It's an interesting perspective to have.

Saved,
M